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Wang Dang Sweet Poon-Slang!

Wang Dang Sweet Poon-Slang!

There is scarcely a more populist venue for creative prose than the scampish endeavour to find euphemistic - or plainly suggestive - noms de guerre for what may be colloquially known as "the naughty bits".  Yep - our dingalings and tushies and boobies and stork baskets are the stuff of all kinds of relabia... er, relabeling.

The people behind the Mooncup menstrual cup (*) ran a survey to find out women's favourite [sic] names for their "mommy parts".  A sampling of results can be seen at

So, what do you call "it"?  Here are the ones that caught my one-eye.

Money Slot
Fluffy Mutton Action Button
The VIP Lounge [no, really, I have my invitation right here...]
Ms Ginger Bigglesworth
The Pearly Gates [let me introduce you to Saint Peter!]
She Who Must Be Obeyed [I ain't gonna argue.]
Mandelspite [wtf??]
The Cunning Contraption
Breakfast [niiiiice...]
Captain Picard [I really don't want to know!]
Crumplezone [um, ouch?]
Vaginimite [for the really Good Times]
Vulvasaur [not a veggiesaurus I hope]
The Contessa of Honeypot Valley
Baron von Cuntzberg
Hairy Potter [please tell me Hermione is 18 now]
Moon Base 1 [one small step for man...]
Pickle Bucket
Play-Dough Fun Factory of Life [takes a little thought, but disturbingly accurate]
Cunt Dracula
Golden Arches

and my personal favorite,
Penis Fly Trap


* - yes, that is what you think it is.


Shawn Mahaney
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