How did the mathematician get rid of constipation? He worked it out with a pencil!
Yes, that's reeeeally bad. But it looks like this chap took it seriously, and may have been trying the same method for some other ailment.
"Window cleaner killed himself with giant souvenir pencil"
"Mr Burton, 57, was found by police in a blood-soaked room in his house in St Leonards, East Sussex, on September 27.
Worried neighbours raised the alarm after they were unable to get hold of him. When police broke into his house they found Mr Burton lying on his back, wearing only his underpants.
The room was splattered with blood and music was still playing on his stereo. The giant blood-covered pencil was beside him. He had a deep gash in his upper thigh."
And he was quite serious about it.
"East Sussex coroner Alan Craze told the Hastings inquest: “It’s a mystery to me. If you were choosing to take your own life, that’s not the way you would do it. “It seems to me that it can’t have been a single stab wound. He seems to have worked on it. The pencil was blunt.”"
He could have done a lot better with a giant paring knife!
Some are puzzled. (No kidding!)
"Jeffrey Burton’s family and friends were baffled by his bizarre death, which was recorded as an open verdict because there was no evidence he was trying to commit suicide."
Well, maybe it was that he was 57 year old window cleaner. Just guessing.