Twu Wuv - And Chains!
"When a maaa-an loves a woman..."
It's true, Percy. There isn't much that a man in love won't do to be with the object of his affection. You've probably heard stories of sneaking into upstairs bedrooms, billboards being bought, and even renegade gardening* in the name of love! But there something in a current news story that you may have not come across before.
Romance, intrigue, betrayal, legal drama - this story has it all!
"A loved-up burglar who broke in to prison night after night for sex with his girlfriend is now facing a permanent stretch himself."
"Daniele Eberhardt, 33, scaled a ten-foot fence, dodged surveillance cameras and used a skeleton key made from a spoon to break into the low-security jail in the British Army garrison town of Bielefeld, Germany."
Now that's dedication! But everything went bad, as they kept at it studiously for weeks on end.
NSFW comic http://www.sdmahaney.org/bogs/20100310/conjugalcounter.jpg
NSFW link http://www.esquire.com/women/sex/conjugal-visit-definition-0809
"For nearly a month the other female jailbirds were driven to distraction by the passionate moans coming from cell 13 in Detention House C7 of the jail for petty thieves, drug criminals and benefit fraudsters. It got so bad that the convicts broke the unwritten law of the underworld and told guards about the couple's illicit trysts."
Gasp! Those cold-hearted jail-birds! They narc'ed on our love-birds!!
"'It was like listening to a bad porno movie,' one female inmate told a German newspaper. 'Lots of grunting and groaning, whispering sweet nothings. It was very hard on us who didn't have anyone to cuddle up with."
Ok, so it was tough on the rest of them. What wasn't tough apparently, was breaking _in_ to this prison. A skeleton key, seriously? Made from a spoon??
I guess there wasn't a proper Spork available.
We do have to give the defense lawyer "credit" for a novel legal strategy - the "Laugh It Off Defense". I think it's in the graduate library law books, next to the Chewbacca Defense.
"Lawyer Carsten Ernst, who is representing the man the German media have dubbed the 'Jailhouse Romeo', said he thought the charges were excessive. 'Couldn't we have just laughed this one off and cancelled the trial?' he commented at a pre-trial hearing on Friday."
There is one more wrinkle to this story of indefatigable implacable love....
"Daniele, who is also under suspicion of having robbed a number of petrol stations, made an application last week to have conjugal visits to his girlfriend. The application was turned down on the grounds that it was 'not a relationship deserving of support'. The reason? She gave the name of ANOTHER man as her partner when she was first jailed."
[* - if you haven't heard this story, remember to ask me]