Shawn Mahaney

Last Updated: 11/21/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 38
Sign: Cancer

State: South Carolina
Country: US
Signup Date: 5/22/2005

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Monday, December 28, 2009 

Current mood:single

Top Ten Time!

Or top eleven, because nothing can be quite straight up when one is covering odd news.

You may find this hard to believe, but this blog does _not_ use as a source for news material!  No, really, we scour the darkest corners of the internet looking for this crap.  Ok, so we were already looking up seedy smut and happened across some odd stories along the way.

Anyhow, has put together a list of the "Top 11 Weirdest Stories of 2009"
You won't believe some of them.  And I suspect that if you start following the links, and don't give up after five deep when you're reading something at the editors' blog, the links will come back around to again.  But someone out there insists that these are all real!

We're going to take a look at three of the stories, before getting back to our own 2009 best-of list, and in between answering fan-mail for that squirrel guy [Ladies: soiled panties are not necessary, but Polaroids are still nice!]

Ever broke up with somebody and didn't want to deal with getting back your stuff?  I've heard of leaving behind a sock, a book, earrings, or even a pair of boots [the selected items are off the top of my head, in no way connected to very real events ;-) ], but... a 17 year old son?

"Florida mom charged after son found living in ex-boyfriend's shed"
"...deputies discovered her son in the shed at the home of Jerry "Tom" Gray, 42. After they broke up, Powell left, but her sons, ages 13 and 17, did not...the 17-year-old slept on a bed in a shed with no electricity, air conditioner or heater and no running water"
As added, 'making it very similar to the apartment of the average 18-year old who has to choose between luxuries or beer'!

Regular readers, if they stay up with their lithium and shock therapy, know that a list like this _must_ include something from Japan. 

"A man who calls himself SAL9000 has married his virtual girlfriend with a public reception"
"The man reportedly fell in love with a virtual girl named Nene Anegasaki and plans to hold a public wedding reception in Tokyo."
Wow.  But I want to know, which Nene came to the wedding?  Being a CG character, she does more than just change skirts...

"Since the girl doesn't really exist, SAL9000 reportedly took his Nintendo DS to Guam for a legal ceremony and honeymoon, and will livecast the upcoming wedding reception online"

This is legal in Guam???  Marines fought hard for that patch of sand.  So um, semper fi Mr 9000!

We finish today on an upbeat note!  I mean, it has to be upbeat, being a tale of storybook romance, right?

"Barry Johnson, aged 40, and his wife Wendy Shobrook, aged 41, both of no fixed address," had a spur-of-the-moment wedding at the local clerk's office witnessed by a few friends.  They all went for a few drinks before sending the couple off on a honeymoon.  Right?

"Wife ditched her husband on their wedding night... (after setting him on fire!) 'then called him the next morning to help beat her lover to death' "

"Ms Shobrook, 39, had allegedly walked out on her 40-year-old husband just hours after the service because she believed he was not paying her enough attention. He had left the reception to pick up his welfare from a nearby unemployment centre."
"The couple then had an argument at home that resulted in Ms Shobrook setting fire to Mr Johnson's bed and then allegedly running into the arms of Mr Auchterlonie."

Could you believe she would run to him, away from a winner like this?

Oh, ok.  I'd set the guy on fire too.

But our faithful Peneolpe returns to her husband, and all is well...?
"...the following morning she phoned her husband and claimed his 45-year-old Auchterlonie tried to rape her, the court heard.  Ms Shobrook then allegedly let Mr Johnson into his love rival's flat where he savagely beat the father of four with an oar and a glass."
""I kicked hell out of him and broke a glass over his head. There was claret everywhere. I gave him a bloody good hiding," Johnson allegedly boasted to friends, the Daily Mail reports."

And so we leave you with the unhappiest mug shot of 2009

Serves him right, for spilling wine.

Currently listening:
Disney's Fairy Tale Weddings
By Disney
Release date: 2005-03-22