[One of the few things I miss from when I used to listen to broadcast radio are Budweiser ads, from the lizards to the Real Men of Genius ads, which feature Pete Stacker reading copy and Dave Bickler adding vocals.  I thought of a new ad while running a half marathon last weekend.  It was the first long race I've tried without headphones on, and I couldn't help but notice all the distractions 'supporters' add along the way.]



Stacker:
Here's to you, mister running race cowbell ringer.

You camp all day at your mile marker, calling home the cows as runners turn up their headphones.
They burn off a Powerbar every ten minutes, and you're sitll working off that double cheeseburger from last Tuesday.

Bickler:
 Ring those calories off!

Stacker:
Oblivious to sporting conventions older than your hairstyle, you blow a whistle too,
Making runners think they're eligible to take a penalty shot.

Bickler:
 Fifteen yards and a free throw!

Stacker:
When they print names on the race bibs, you add to the event by calling them out.
Proving to everyone: You can read.

Bickler:
  Mister running race cowbell riiiing-er!