They say we're in some sticky times.  The economy can't seem to get straight, and even the usual undulating ups and downs in the markets have lost thrust.  But one US bank is getting creative, sliding out their own stimulus package.

"One of the oldest banks of its kind in the United States, Xytex International, on Tuesday rolled out a stimulus package for customers who are hurting in these tough economic times."

Regular readers will know [/me waves to the maximum security psych ward - thanks for your letters!] that there's a twist coming.  Well, more of a splash than a twist...

"Xytex is a sperm bank, and it's offering up to 200 dollars off a vial of sperm to clients wishing to start or add to their family, but need a little help.

"We're all feeling the effects of the economy and, especially for families seeking reproductive options, every dollar counts," Xytex spokeswoman Danielle Moores told AFP."

Ok, so if you're ready to put a bun in the oven, and looking for a helping pitot tube, you know who to call.  But note that there's still a catch.

""Select donors are a new level of donor which we introduced to try to help our clients who are interested in third-party reproduction but, with the tough economy, are having a little bit of trouble purchasing a regular donor," Moores told AFP.

Select donors, explained Moores, are men from whom Xytex has "many, many vials because they're very successful donors or able to stop in several times a week or -- for whatever reason, we have a huge inventory," ...

"Select donors haven't reached the end of their shelf-life, they're just over-produced," "

"Over-produced"??   What can I say - they've got a good video selection.

But now that I know they're getting $250+ on these 'deliveries' -- we gotta renegotiate my contract.