Shawn Mahaney

Last Updated: 3/18/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 37
Sign: Cancer

State: South Carolina
Country: US
Signup Date: 5/22/2005

My Subscriptions
Monday, March 16, 2009 

Current mood:crafty
Category: Life

If I were to mention a magazine called "Quilter's Home", you might picture the usual readership as, well, this:

And certainly there are plenty of ladies who celebrate old-fashioned crafts together, their dresses being barely distinguishable from their handi-work.  (You wouldn't believe how many other magazines I came across when 'researching' this piece!)

Well, look out quilting world!  The times they are a-changin'.  Better bleach them doilies and put down your lemonade (use that crochet coaster, please) - here's a scandal that will overheat your Singer!

"The issue is wrapped in a prim plastic sleeve, but the lurid, electric-blue display copy still leaps from the page: Shocking! Controversial! Quilts! Quilts? ...

Mark Lipinski, the editor of Quilter's Home, knew that the January/February issue might be perceived as scandalous.  This is why he took precautions"

"The precautions were fruitless.

Jo-Ann Fabric and Crafts, the sewing and scrapbooking mega-chain, opted not to carry the sordid edition — a little "too hot" for Jo-Ann is what Lipinski says his distributor told him. "

What, gentle reader, you may inquire could be so insobriquious*?

"Flip past the ads for stencil companies and portable ironing tables to Page 24.

Behold, seven straight pages of shocking quilts. We're talking fabric phalluses. Gun-toting Jesuses. A newborn peering out from his mother's lady parts (constructed out of lots of soft, embroidered orange cloth). Some of the images are disturbing — and moving — like quilter Gwen Magee's "Southern Heritage/Southern Shame," which depicts five lynching victims hanging in front of a Confederate flag.

Others are whimsical. Consider "Helping Hands," a Charlottesville quilter's ode to Viagra. The work was inspired by a present from a friend: "A fat quarter of fabrics with all these itty-bitty penises and sperm,""

Oh my dearest almighty!  This truly is shockingly pulchritudinous.  I fear the other pages may even be calipigian!  We can only imagine what other feliz cumpleaños ** this might lead to!

Naked lady mud-flap doilies?
Knit diaphragms??
Crotchless Snuggies???
Even lingerie made with Grandma's love!

I shudder to think about what the Christmas nativity will look like.

[* - I think I just made up that word, but it might be legit.  Somebody try it in Scrabble for me!
** - Just checking who's reading.]

p.s. - should you want to get in on the quilting action, you might want to try these fabric patterns from www.fabricandart.com

Currently listening:
I Can't Believe I'm Kntting (Leisure Arts #3914)
Release date: 2006-06-01

Unraveled-UNcut and Uncensored....pulling at the thread....LIVE at the Blueberry Frog!!! :) awesome!
Posted by tina on Monday, March 16, 2009 - 12:32 PM
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It's a word, just not an English word.
Posted by aed on Monday, March 16, 2009 - 1:50 PM
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** I mean, * is not a word.
Posted by aed on Monday, March 16, 2009 - 1:53 PM
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