Underground lab... secret experiments with super bio-agents... test subjects 'escape'... yadda yadda yadda.

"2 Mice Carrying Plague Disappear From New Jersey Lab, FBI Says No Public Health Risk"
http://www.foxnews.com/

See, there's even a government cover-up.  That's how you *know* it's true!

The Attack of the Mutant Mice is upon us!  In no time there will be thousands of these critters, roaming the hills of New Jersey [which I learned are surprisingly pleasant, away from the interstates].  With their new unnecessary muscularity, elongated fangs, and completely over-the-top LASER EYES - the general population doesn't stand a chance!



Of course, there's a chance that they really are just mild-mannered lab mice.  Who may, or may not, merely want to TAKE OVER THE WORLD...



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Meanwhile, the human race is distracted by other pressing... issues.

"Ryanair may charge for toilet use on planes"
http://news.yahoo.com/
""One thing we have looked at in the past and are looking at again is the possibility of maybe putting a coin slot on the toilet door so that people might actually have to spend a pound to spend a penny in future," [O'Leary] told BBC television.

He said this would not inconvenience passengers travelling without cash. "I don't think there is anybody in history that has got on board a Ryanair aircraft with less than a pound.""

Gosh, I can't think of any reason one might not carry loose change on a plane... except, maybe, the gauntlet of security they make us go through now!  I always stuff any change accumulated in the terminal in one of my bags, not least of all because it will fall out of a pocket and go under the seats.

'Pardon me, pardon me... I'm crawling around under your legs beca... Hey, nice lacey number you got under there... because if I don't find a coin soon you're going to see a whole new use for that airsick bag!'