HVY MTL

Shawn Mahaney


Last Updated: 3/18/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 37
Sign: Cancer

City: GREENVILLE
State: South Carolina
Country: US
Signup Date: 5/22/2005

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Monday, February 23, 2009 

Current mood:  thirsty
Category: Life
If a law firm was to sponsor a NASCAR team, this might make a teeny bit more sense.  Might.

"Inmate sues: ‘NASCAR made me do it!"
http://www.nashvillecitypaper.com/
"Jonathan Lee Riches filed suit in U.S. District Court in Richmond, Va., stating that watching races “influenced him to speed … doing 135 mph and getting tickets.”"

No, Tina, this will NOT work!  Just keep on batting yer eyes at the cop.

"And that’s not all. He said his NASCAR addiction caused him to use “illegally obtained credit cards to attend races,” and once there, he used more stolen credit cards to purchase products hawked by race drivers.

“I used (Kyle) Petty’s Discover Card to buy Mark Martin Viagra,”"

The newspaper hastens to add, just in case we might all want to run out and get some of them Mark Martin branded marital pharmaceuticals,

"(Viagra no longer sponsors Martin’s car.)"

Ok, no pills.  But that's ok, a fellah's got to eat, too.

"Riches said he bought race tickets using credit cards that he admitted were fraudulent, “but the defendants insisted they did not care and encouraged me to buy Budweiser beer and funnel cake with more stolen funds.”"

Budweiser with funnel cake?  I really think Coors pairs better.

"He concludes by claiming that Jeff Gordon’s Dupont-sponsored car “poisoned me with Dupont chemicals. I pray this court will grant my motions for relief. I don’t want to die in prison.”"

Poisoned with chemicals.... now that part I can believe.

Currently reading:
Drive to Win: The Essential Guide to Race Driving
By Carroll Smith
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tina

 
i don't see anything funny here? what? what?
Posted by tina on Monday, February 23, 2009 - 8:30 PM
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HVY MTL
Shawn Mahaney

 
Aaaahahahahaa... nice symmetry.
:-)

Now, where's my hammer...
Posted by HVY MTL on Monday, February 23, 2009 - 8:33 PM
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