Shawn Mahaney

Last Updated: 4/3/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 37
Sign: Cancer

State: South Carolina
Country: US
Signup Date: 5/22/2005

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Friday, January 16, 2009 

Current mood:young!
Category: Life
I still got a ton of work to do, but my fans are asking for more. [Ok, one person insisted I cover a particular story.]

First up, a quick stoyry.

Er, first up, a quiczk stor6.

Ouch.  Ok, one more time - First up, a quick story:

"Female Shoplifter Run Over by Getaway Car — Twice"
"Authorities are looking for a shoplifter who was run over twice by her getaway car after stealing $1,200 worth of designer purses from a Cape Coral store.

...The guard says she was confronting the woman when a car pulled up.

A report says the shoplifter tried to get into the vehicle but fell out and was run over by the car. She then got up and jumped onto the hood of the car. As the car was driving away, the report says the woman fell off and was run over again. On her third attempt, she finally made it into the vehicle."

Now, just in case you think this is just bad luck - here's where I make a case that people make their own luck, and idiots look unlucky.

"Police are using the car's license plate and a check the woman dropped to track her down."

Dropped a check... Brilliant.


Part II - The Pledge

"Would-be bride, 107, seeks first husband"

I hope she's not looking for an older man.

"A 107-year-old Chinese woman who was afraid to marry when she was young has decided to look for her first husband and hopes to find a fellow centenarian so they will have something to talk about, a Chinese paper reported.

Wang Guiying is worried she is becoming a burden to her aging nieces and nephews since breaking her leg when she was 102 and had to stop doing chores like washing her clothes.

"I'm already 107 and I still haven't got married," the Chongqing Commercial Times quoted her saying. "What will happen if I don't hurry up and find a husband?""

Well, good for her.  But the article leaves certain obvious questions unanswered.  I'm sure you want to know (cuz I'm not taking the blame here!) - was she saving herself for marriage?  Has her chastity remained in charity??  And if she wore a promise ring, was it hewn from obsidian with stone knapping tools?

Currently reading:
Dr. Ruth's Sex After 50: Revving up the Romance, Passion & Excitement! (The Best Half of Life)
By Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer