Shawn Mahaney

Last Updated: 4/3/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 37
Sign: Cancer

State: South Carolina
Country: US
Signup Date: 5/22/2005

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Tuesday, January 06, 2009 

Current mood:  pugnacious
Category: Life
This story is very visual, and there's a lot going on.  I'll try to help you keep up.
But get ready, it opens up with a minor pun.

"Underwear donning robber apprehended after brief pursuit"

We can't say if the editor or the beat reporter is responsible for this one.  Check the official box score after the game.  The rest of the action we'll present in pieces to introduce the other elements, in as near a reasonable order as possible in this madcap tail.

"the knife-brandishing 48-year-old man entered the golf shop ... around 4 p.m. At first the clerk thought the man was wearing a ski mask, but it turned out to be a pair of men's underwear"

It's always curious when a perp tries a hold-up with a knife in the USA {he says as he fingers his concealed weapons permit from a 'shall-issue' State}.  But it gets even better.

"The man demanded money and the clerk retorted, "You gotta be kidding." The man insisted, and the clerk tried to disarm the man. In the struggle, the knife broke at the hilt, and the man ran out of the store."

The knife broke!  What was that again I was saying about the $7.99 super survival kit knives, with compass and wood saw in the hilt?

Try really hard now to capture this entire scene: angry clerk, embarrassed robber - with underwear on his head, holding the butt of a broken knife, being chased... by two guys on a golf cart.

"The clerk told a couple of nearby golf shop patrons the man tried to rob him. The two customers chased the man down using their golf cart and detained him until police arrived."

As you might imagine, the story got plenty of cheeky comments in the local papers' forums.
"Why didn't the clerck just give the robber a wedgie ? That'd held hime 'till the cops came- especially an atomic one."
"All we need is Bill Murray hiding in the bushes to make the scene complete. "A real Cinderella story ladies and gentlemen...""

Currently listening:
Big White Undies - A Day Less Young

Hahahaha, what a loser!
And chased down by a golf cart, to top it off? How fast do those things go anyway? That's pretty pathetic. He is destined to be in one of those de-motivational posters captioned with the word "Fail".
Posted by Hilary on Tuesday, January 06, 2009 - 11:11 AM
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Do math geeks not have to take English composition? It would be a madcap TALE:P Damn yankee!
Posted by Natalie on Tuesday, January 06, 2009 - 9:43 PM
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Shawn Mahaney

Ahem. The non-humor-impaired in the room will have noted that as a mildly clever play on words.
Posted by HVY MTL on Tuesday, January 06, 2009 - 10:05 PM
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Shawn Mahaney

I considered putting a [sic] on that in the first place, but figured my usual readers would get it.

BTW - I got Cs and Ds in math.
Posted by HVY MTL on Tuesday, January 06, 2009 - 10:46 PM
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