[Is the title pretentious enough, Jen?]

It's that time of year again!  It's time to count up all the year's single lonely socks, wonder what happened to their mates, and try to talk them into hooking up with each other.  "Listen, I know what you think about argyle, but I think you should have a more open mind.  I hear she can really keep an ankle warm, if you know what I mean..."

It's also time to look back and wonder why nothing got accomplished, the bank account is the same as it was last January, and if the dryer will make it another year.  In this particular venue, there's not much to do but look at the old blogs, this being a blog and all.


In 2008, there were 148 posts.  As backed-up, they come to over 58 megabytes (this includes a jillion copies of the Myspace scripts that inhabit every page).  (I got the backups going to www.sdmahaney.org )

We had mug shots!



There were multiple lessons about firearm safety.

"...the accidental discharge could cost Mr Burress over $30,000,000. Did I mention he was a Spartan...?"
How to Avoid a "Plaxident" (December 15)

"DO NOT STRAP A LOADED .44 MAGNUM TO A DRUNK REDNECK WOMAN IN A TRAILER WITH A RODENT PROBLEM"
A Word on Gun Safety (July 11)


Advice was given, from armageddon to voting.

Armageddon turns out to be easy to deal with, if we cooperate. So Vince and I shared duties on this piece.  For my own plan, the key bit is this - "I realize that not every one can afford a fully kitted out assault rifle with dual scopes, tactical light, bipod grip, expanded magazine, and oversize suppressor - and that's what I'm counting on for my own survival plan."
Because Knowing Is Half The Battle (Dec 9)

Voting is a more individual subject, until one tosses a vote away into a major party machine.
"...the major parties, if they know they have a hold on power, will always tune their message to appease, and fight each other to a near draw."
Feckless Hegemony (Nov 4)


Sure, there was a good sampling of risque material, from mooning to strip shows to the truly deviant.  Nothing over the top.  I mean, I didn't display any sort of excessive prurient interest.   (Right...?)

"Moonstruck: Huron High lacrosse players bare it all to help teammate win prom date"
Them Boys Is Making Us Proud! (April 30)

"Depressed economy affects strip clubs"
It's Tough All Over(July 10)

"...conducting a lewd act with a claw hammer, plastic bag and motor oil"

Least Likely Phrase Ever? (Aug 6)


Since the news feeds are so full of remarkable stories, there were posts about stupid people, stupid people, stupid people, and stupid horses.

A Lovely Pastoral Scene (Oct 22)

And barbequed people!
"You hush up and eat!  Your grandmother put her heart into this food."
But moooooo-om... (Oct 15)

"A couple telephoned police in the middle of the night after finding a man in their basement covered head to toe in barbecue sauce."
Don't Baste Me, Bro! (Jul 7)


We learned about new career options, like "Professional Chain-Whipper"


This being mostly about (tasteless) humor, there was some really funny stuff, like a four part piece on cancer!  Such fun!!
Schimmel's Book, Part One (March 10)

And so many great lines,
"...for about two months with the decaying body of a 90-year-old woman on the toilet of their home's only bathroom, on the advice of a religious "superior" who claimed the corpse would come back to life."
"...without sparing a vulgar euphemism"
"This is why I never became a serial killer - I just don't have the follow-through."


Thanks to the wonders of the internet, we have great photo illustrations
It Seemed Like the Perfect Crime (July 23)


Hey, Bartender!  Another Half Ounce Please (July 25)


Until We Meet Alien Life Forms... (April 15)


Why I Drive, Not Fly, Across the Country (April 14)


Gesunheit (Nov 5)


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Ok, it's quiz time!

Find this pic:


Find this quote:
"Nida, who as a child experienced the charms of electric fences, didn't feel the need to test Turschak's signs"

Find this line:
"You probably have a great reserve of compassion, love, and patience.  So what are you *doing* with it?"

Find this comment:
"thou shall resist temptation from the hot and sexi nuns and promptly recite 10 hail Mary's for still giving unto sin....which you will be absolved for anyways....that's just tha Catholic way"

Extra credit, for pastry chefs only:
To five decimal places, what is the cube root of pie?
[C'mon, Gnat, you really didn't think you'd get off Scot free, didya??]

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I hope your year was at least as good as mine, and half as much fun as the blog!