Frozen Felonies
Current mood: hungry
Category: Life

I was going to take this week off and catch up on other stuff.  Like work.  But, with material like this... I just can't stop!

"Carjacking Suspect Clubbed With Frozen Turkey"
http://www.wxii12.com/
http://www.news-record.com/
"Garner police said 30-year-old Fred Ervin had stolen money from a BP gas station, then approached Irene Moorman Bailey, who was loading groceries in her car outside a nearby Harris Teeter, according to WRAL.
...
Bystanders intervened, hitting Ervin in the head with a frozen turkey that Bailey bought, police told WRAL.
...
Ervin was hospitalized in serious condition as of Sunday night."

Remember - an armed society is a polite society.  Tasty, too!

Next perp in line is a fellow who allegedly likes to smear Vaseline on his back side.  That may be a handy skill in prison!  [credit Tom Griswold]

"Authorities Arrest 'Butt Bandit' Suspect After 2 Yrs. Of Leaving A Bad Impression"
http://www.citynews.ca/
"He's accused of being the bearer of behinds, the rear echelon of rogues and the bastion of bad buns.

Police in Nebraska think they've finally caught the guy who's been leaving an unpleasant imprint behind in the aptly named city of Valentine. We first told you about this bizarre nighttime intruder in September.

For reasons authorities still don't know, someone was going around with a bare bottom in the middle of the night, deliberately leaving cheek marks on stores, churches, schools and windows all over town.

The culprit would use lotion or petroleum jelly to make his mark, then presumably pull up his pants and disappear into the night, leaving police at a dead - er- end.
...
Cops allege they caught the man in the act and believe the 35-year-old they've taken into custody is the sole suspect in this rear echelon caper.

And what of his motives? Police still aren't sure but suggest it was the act of a 'lone deviant.'

Officials admit the attention the acts have brought the city have been an embarrassment and they hope to successfully prosecute the accused and put it all behind them.

Although that may not be the best choice of words."

I couldn't have written it better.

Currently listening : Sticky Fingers By The Rolling Stones Release date: By 2005-08-30

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