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Monday, July 07, 2008


Don’t Baste Me, Bro!
Current mood: hungry
Category: News and Politics

This may be the Best.  News.  Story.  EVER

[from www.wwmt.com and www.wbay.com (mug shot!)]  

"APPLETON, Wisc. - A couple telephoned police in the middle of the night after finding a man in their basement covered head to toe in barbecue sauce."

Let me repeat that last part,  "covered head to toe in barbecue sauce."

What could be better than that?  Perhaps if the perp was covered in barbecue sauce *and whistling*...
"Investigators say 35-year-old Aaron Maurice broke into the family's home on North Wilmer while they were sleeping around 4:30 A.M.

Not only was it frightening but police say it was very strange. At the time of the break-in, police say Maurice was whistling and covered in barbecue sauce.

"They thought they heard something in the basement, so they listened for a little bit and they heard what sounded like somebody in the basement whistling," Sergeant Pat DeWall of the Appleton Police Department said."

The news feeds don't give any reason for the guy to be slathered and tweeting, as if there could be a reason.  But the perp did provide something of an explanation to the cops.

""He told the officers that it was urban camouflage," said the homeowner."
"When he asked Maurice why he was there, Maurice said he was on the run from the government."
Yeah, I think that explains a lot.

Note that the (fantastically hilarious) event was quite a scare for this family,
"Police say the woman living there locked herself in a room with her two-year-old child. Her husband grabbed a shotgun.

"At that point in time he shut off the lights and the person in the basement yelled up to him something to the effect, 'What are you doing?'" DeWall said.

According to the criminal complaint, the homeowner held Maurice at gunpoint until officers arrived."

Curiously, there apparently are no charges available on the Appleton, WI, books for abuse of condiments.
"Police say the house was locked up at the time and there was no sign of forced entry, so they're not sure how Maurice got into the home.

Maurice is jailed on a burglary charge"

The suspect was booked and he's expected to be thoroughly grilled.

Currently reading :
How to Grill: The Complete Illustrated Book of Barbecue Techniques
By Steven Raichlen

9:35 AM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove -


Hey, can you pick up my son after work today? That pun stabbed me in the chest, so I'll be down for the day.

Posted by Vince on Jul 7, 2008 9:03 AM
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Pun courtesy of Tim Griswold at www.bobandtom.com .

Posted by HVY MTL on Jul 7, 2008 9:15 AM
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Another unanswered question, put forward by a coworker - What was the guy whistling?

Posted by HVY MTL on Jul 7, 2008 10:51 AM
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