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Don’t Baste Me, Bro!
Current mood:  hungry
Category: News and Politics
This may be the Best. News. Story. EVER
[from www.wwmt.com and www.wbay.com (mug shot!)]
"APPLETON,
Wisc. - A couple telephoned police in the middle of the night after
finding a man in their basement covered head to toe in barbecue sauce."
Let me repeat that last part, "covered head to toe in barbecue sauce."
What could be better than that? Perhaps if the perp was covered in barbecue sauce *and whistling*...
"Investigators
say 35-year-old Aaron Maurice broke into the family's home on North
Wilmer while they were sleeping around 4:30 A.M.
Not
only was it frightening but police say it was very strange. At the time
of the break-in, police say Maurice was whistling and covered in
barbecue sauce.
"They
thought they heard something in the basement, so they listened for a
little bit and they heard what sounded like somebody in the basement
whistling," Sergeant Pat DeWall of the Appleton Police Department said."
The
news feeds don't give any reason for the guy to be slathered and
tweeting, as if there could be a reason. But the perp did provide
something of an explanation to the cops.
""He told the officers that it was urban camouflage," said the homeowner."
"When he asked Maurice why he was there, Maurice said he was on the run from the government."
Yeah, I think that explains a lot.
Note that the (fantastically hilarious) event was quite a scare for this family,
"Police say the woman living there locked herself in a room with her two-year-old child. Her husband grabbed a shotgun.
"At
that point in time he shut off the lights and the person in the
basement yelled up to him something to the effect, 'What are you
doing?'" DeWall said.
According to the criminal complaint, the homeowner held Maurice at gunpoint until officers arrived."
Curiously, there apparently are no charges available on the Appleton, WI, books for abuse of condiments.
"Police
say the house was locked up at the time and there was no sign of forced
entry, so they're not sure how Maurice got into the home.
Maurice is jailed on a burglary charge"
The suspect was booked and he's expected to be thoroughly grilled.
9:35 AM
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