Current mood: animated
Category: Writing and Poetry
Two men are out fishing at their favourite spot, just fishing quietly and drinking beer.
silently, so as not to scare the fish, Jim says, "I think I'm going to
divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over two months."
Fred continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, "you'd better think it over - women like that are hard to find."
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Wisconsin State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book.
She said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball."
He replied, "Wisconsin State Troopers don't have balls."
was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd
just said. He then closed his ticket book, got back in his patrol car
She was laughing too hard to start her car.
old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy
should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men
his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't
seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school,
his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room
and placed on his study table four objects.
1. A bible.
2. A silver dollar.
3. A bottle of whisky.
4. And a Playboy magazine.
just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself. "When he
comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up. If
it's the bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a
blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a
business man, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the
bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame
that would be! And worst of all if he picks up that magazine, he's
going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."
The old man waited
anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house
whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed,
and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.
With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he
picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the
silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and
took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.
"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered. "He's gonna run for Congress."
A kindergarten class was given a homework
to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the
next day. The first little boy called upon walked up to the front of
the class, and, with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the
blackboard, then sat back down.
Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
'It's a period,' said the little boy.
'Well, I can see that,' she said, 'but what is so exciting about a period?'
if I know,' said the little boy, 'but this morning my sister was
missing one, Dad had a heart attack, Mom fainted, and the man next door
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