This makes me look soft and cuddly!
Current mood: vehement

Just when I thought I was getting especially curmudgeonly and mean, along comes this site:

http://www.revengeguy.com/stories/index.htm
"Life is too short not to exact a bitter and bloody revenge"

One of the milder stories:
"I was fired from my job at a fast-food place because I wouldn't work every night shift after I explained that I needed to have some nights off so I could spend a little time off with my kids. I used one of the free coupons from your site and made it into a free food coupon and passed them out at a youth hostel. It's two weeks later and they're still getting some of the coupons and a lot of complaints!"

The end of one story about former best girlfriends:
"He was passed out naked on the bed when I took off my black lacey bra and slipped into the pocket of his jacket. I quietly exited out of the room and raced back home.

There were many voice mail messages from her on my machine, crying hysterically looking for her beloved boyfriend.

The next day was hiroshima as she discovered the bra in his jacket and called me for support - it was all I could do to stifle laughing in her face!

I never talked to neither of them ever again afterward. I had what I wanted! hah hahhaaa"

The long stories are lovingly detailed accounts, usually from jilted women, about how they completely destroyed some schmuck.  Ya almost hafta feel sorry for the cheatin' bastards! (and wonder about the other side of the story, if his 'sweetheart' could turn out to be soooo evil...)

The Revenge Guy helpfully provides templates to print out things like free stuff coupons, or official-looking invites to bands for some great TV contest.
And - pointers to helpful products like,
http://www.liquidass.com/
"Liquid ASS is an overwhelming, stinky, funny prank product. Once unleashed, this power–packed, super–concentrated liquid begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine, foul butt–crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo. The funny pranks you can pull with Liquid ASS are unlimited..."

But, even the Revege Guy has limits.
http://www.revengeguy.com/archive/revenge-request-denied.htm
"Hi Emma,
No.
You haven't given me a reason for you to need revenge other than the fact she has more friends than you do.

That's immature and petty.

Talk to your parents."

For his efforts, The Revenge Guy does get thank-you letters.
"RG,
Thanks so much for responding. I thought my current situation was far to stupid to merit a response.
The only dirt I have on him is that he's a complete man whore, and that he's horribly sensitive. I'm not really sure about his fears though.
Your gay lover idea was absolutely amazing. I might just use that.
Thanks!
Blinded"

Currently listening : Odyssey By Yngwie J. Malmsteen's Rising Force Release date: By 25 October, 1990

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