Mamas, don’t let your boys grow up to be...
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Mamas, don’t let your boys grow up to be clueless!!

Today was the long put-off grocery shopping trip, the one that happens only a few times a year, after which people wonder how a single guy could spend $400 in one shot at the grocery store.  Really, today was the ’listeless’ shopping trip - there’s no need for a list when one has put it off so long that one needs _everything_.

After rounding the last aisle, smiling to see that 12 packs of Sam Adams Light are on sale (instead of the six packs - thus telling me I need to drink extra this month!), I angle for a check-out lane.  Aha!  There’s one with a cashier and dedicated bagger, the customer is already paying, and said customer happens to be the only cute gal I passed in the whole store.  Bonus.

So I bring up the cart, get my discount card scanned, and watch stuff fly by the scanner.  Looking up, I see a problem right away.  The bagger is what one used to call a bag-boy.  And this one is a sharp jawed youth, probably a three-sport athlete in school, and probably smart too.  BUT HE’S NEVER IN HIS LIFE MANAGED A HOUSEHOLD KITCHEN.  The only solace is that I hadn’t pre-staged things the way I wanted them bagged, for him to mess it up.

Getting home, the bag lottery begins...

In bag number one, with have three boxes of cereal - and a frozen dinner.

Oh, here’s the other box of cereal - with the vitamins and dog treats.

Someone did explain to him about keeping cans together and not crushing other things with them, but that didn’t keep the soup, chili, and beans being randomly mixed.

Raw asparagus may look kinda shaggy, but I still don’t keep it with the razors and shaving gel.

Oh well.  Time to make up lunches for the week.  Luckily, my steaks have been pre-tenderized - by having a 12 pack of plastic soda bottles set on top of them.

Before I go, just a note to mothers everywhere: while your darling boy will only be 17 once, his Lacrosse scholarship need not be the exclusive focus of life. It wouldn’t hurt him to be drug to the store once in a blue moon and to lug stuff inside for you every now and then.  As I recall, from 12 years old and up I was sometimes given my own shopping list and cart and sent off to forage for the family.

p.s. Thanks to reading a bodybuilding mag right before shopping, I bought some asparagus.  Now what??  I think it normally gets cooked or something...

Currently listening : Led Zeppelin IV (aka ZOSO) By Led Zeppelin Release date: By 19 July, 1994

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